Intimacy After Baby...

So I've been away from this blog for quite sometime, but put a lot of work into its successor (the mommy confidentials). 
I was away for the last trimester and first few months of my daughter's life. As we all know, after the 6 week check up (some move much faster, lol) our mates are ready for some action! Now some women may say "he has lost his mind, I just a pushed a baby out, and I want nothing going in"!! He's thinking "well damn, it's been some months now! Let's get it on"! A baby does not equal no sex life. You need your relationship and the intimacy.So here comes a crossroad, how do you both get what you want? After a baby, women tend to feel a little overwhelmed. Creating a helpful atmosphere will help her get into the mood. Take some responsibility off of her hands so that she doesn't have a headache and isn't tired. And that additional help will earn you some brownie points. Here's a great scenario. Once the evening comes around, prepare dinner and tidy up afterwards, give the baby a bath and feed them. Even if you are tired, you know your goal, so you have to sacrifice your rest :-) Once you have lightened your load, go to her, kiss her gently and when she says... I have a ton of stuff to do. You say... I took care of it! Boom!!!! She's done, and you should be well on your way between the sheets.

Now ladies, I completely understand being tired, having a headache, mild pain from healing the past 6 weeks, and just not feeling like it. Just remember that, every time you say no. Remember that one day he will stop asking or in some cases, begging. One day his head will hurt, he'll be tired, or just won't want you. That feeling of rejection will hurt, so why do the same to him. Men have feelings as well. A relationship is like a plant, you nurture and water it, if you fail to do so, it dies. Getting alone time is difficult when you have children, so get creative.
* Have a hotel room in your home. A room that you escape to in order to go to  step 2....
* Role play. I wrote an article about this topic. When you're in a relationship, it is best to keep it spicy. You be Brad and she can be Angeline, or Halle and Billy Bob, when they were on "Monsters Ball"! We all remember that scene!!!!
*Schedule a date. There is no reason to not a have a babysitter every now and then in order to grab a bite to eat.
* My favorite piece of advice....TOUCH!!! Kiss one another through the day. Caress one another, make out like teenagers.
* Talk, be honest with one another. This is your partner. If you can't tell each other, then who??

Find ways to show each other that you do appreciate them. Men and women think differently. Remember that when you are feeling some kind of way. No one is a mind reader. Discuss new fetishes, dislikes, and possibilities that you may want to try. It's all worth a try!!!

Until next time: keep it spicy! 

Self PLessure...

The older I get, I run into more women (especially young ones) that can not imagine pleasuring themselves. I hear things like " it doesn't work for me", "or "I've never tried it" " my man does it right, so I don't need to do it". One has nothing to do with the other. How do you know everything you like or how to teach him your best number, if you don't know it. There is a whole different type of orgasm that occurs when your controlling it. It helps you get to know yourself and as a woman, it is empowering! No it does not replace your mate, or make you want him any less, it can enhance what you have. When in a long term monogamous relationship, the same old thing won't work. You need some chandelier swinging, vibrating bullets, and feathers to make it more appealing and exciting! I know it is not for everyone, but at least try it before you completely deny it. Let's get spicy!!!!!