Mistresses & Misters...

Yes it says what you think it does. I want to discuss mistresses and misters. I gather that a male mistress is a mister. I have to discuss this since it is a very touchy topic for many people. I read an article this morning that prompted this blog post. It saddens me how much people turn on the wrong person, channel that anger correctly. When in a relationship, if you step outside of it, please know that there are rules. This is not to judge anyone, just to give you some tips. Rule #1 If you decide to step out, let's be respectful and not do it at your home. Bringing someone into the home your share with your mate, whether you live together or not, still opens you up to a ton of drama. Rule #2 When you decided to sleep with the married or involved person, you knew the possible outcome. You have to keep your boundaries and stay in the lane that you chose for yourself. Rule #3 If you are mad at anyone, let it be yourself because you may the decision. Be stronger then that. There are plenty of available people out there to give you what you want and need. Rule #4 If you decide to step out of your relationship, let it be with someone that has as much to loose as you do and values it. A person that has nothing to loose will always be a threat. Rule #5 If you think the grass is greener on the other side, try watering your own grass. Rule #6 you can't control other people, so remember that when you go there. Rule #7 Why be someone's #2 when you can be #1 to someone else. It is destructive and can and will possibly visit you in life when you are really happy. Be mindful of destructive behaviors and try to do better for yourself. Please know that no one is perfect, but everyone can be respectful and want better. Everyone can have self worth and everyone knows what they want out of life.

Opposites Attract??

Do opposites really attract??
I often hear people say opposites attract, but I wonder for how long. In the beginning people love what seems opposite to them, but after a couple of years things die.
Example 1: you love how calm she is and the fact that she stays home to wait for you. On the other hand, you're a social butterfly and the honeymoon phase is over. You want to do something, anything except stay home!! Now you're second guessing if this is the right one for you because you compromised your wants. You understand compromise, but when does that become complete sacrifice.
Example 2: He is a ton of fun, but a little sarcastic. Not dumb, but could use a peep at current events. You're the intellectual type, but he keeps you smiling. That was fun at first, but now you want to have stimulating conversation and that is a no go because of his lack there of.

Just an observation but do people become bored with what is consider the opposite??

Confidence!

Well don't you look fabulous today!!! Hope you had an awesome week!

So my question for today is simple. What makes some people more confident than others? Is it money, looks, status? So many people without those things still think very highly of themselves, as we all should. If you are one of those confident people, be a good person. I mean, I know that may sound easy. But take a moment out of your day and find someone who may not be as confident and give them a compliment. Overly confident people with money, looks and status, tend to be looked at as snotty, mean and inconsiderate. However; it is not true for all. So at some point today and this weekend, just be kind. The little things go a long way, you may change a life today!

Tata!!

www.physicalvitality.com

Dark skinned women

Are we disenfranchised as a people??
When I was a child, I remember hearing people say, "she's cute to be dark skinned". Why is lighter skin considered prettier? How in our community is there discrimination about skin color? How did we get here. Many may say that they do not feel that way, but the proof is everywhere in America. What makes Beyonce prettier then Gabrielle Union? Nothing. Are black men more intrigued with lighter women, but have an issue when darker women turn to other races. Its different when you are discriminated by opposing races (which is still very bad) but it's extremely discerning when its your own race. What makes a person beautiful is not complexion. That belief comes from decades of inner hatred. Beauty comes from life, smiles, personality, the person as a whole being. As black women we must strengthen each other and understand what beauty really is. Black men must empower black women and not beat them down emotionally and mentally. Black parents must not groom their children to believe that only light is beautiful. Its amazing how wonderful black America is, not matter if they are dark or light. This is not a problem in every home, but it is a problem that only we can change. Be a part of the solution, but the problem.

Life ambition or opportunity

I often hear people say, "it's all about who you know". Some say it's just pushing forward. I know many people that have made it to where they are because of who they know and they don't work nearly as hard as the people that worked for it. Its not everyone though. I think its a great thing to know people. That's part of networking and networking can bring upon success. As I approach my goal as a relationship coach, my goal is to socialize and pick the brains of the best there are. I love the self starters who were told that they would never amount to anything. The ones that beat the odds, dispute their life. I also appreciate the ones that know the right people, especially if they pay it forward and try their best to expand and duplicate themselves.
{Tarah D}

Giving up??

Most that know me know that my trade is love and relationships. I find it amazing that so many of the people that I love are ending their relationships over things that they believe will never change. When one gets a cold, they go to the doctor. When ther car breaks down, they go to a mechanic. Why is it that when the most valuable thing is breaking down, you make attempts to fix it yourself? Marriage and relationship specialist, counselors, and therapist are only to give an unbiased opinion. Even if you are really in danger of a major breakup, stop being stubborn unless its just completely unhealthy for the both of you. Never stay in a relationship that is breaking you down to your very being and the core of your soul! However, if it can be saved, at least stop arguing to listen for a minute. Once someone yells or disrespects, the other one is no longer listening. Stop making it so easy to give it. If its worth having, its worth fighting for :)

Role Playing and Toys

Role Playing and Toys
Some men seem to have a problem with women and their toys. I'm here to tell you that there is no need to fret! First know this, the toy is your friend! You may find that you really enjoy watching her entertain herself and then getting ready for you. Most women need you to warm up the engine, the toy can assist and do a great job. Try it out, it may become your bestfriend! Now believe it or not, many women would love to role play but they are nervous about not being taken seriously. Fellas, show us how its done! Make the move and leave a love note for her stating where to meet you. Once she gets there, you don't know her. It can be a hotel bar so that you can take her back to your room! Show her how sexy is really done! Keep me posted! Until we meet again.... {Tarah D}