I heard a saying today "if more men would stand up, women would sit down". I'm all for strong women but when a woman is being both woman and man in the relationship she has to know when to cut her losses. Stop considering him controlling you and let him love you.  Women are strong but we will never be men. Quit living in the past. If your so in love with women, date them. Give credit to the good and stop dating the trufflin' men, only to say all men are dogs or worthless. If someone always ends up with trufflin' people, they need to look at the common thread: themselves. Good morning luvs! {Tarah D}

5 Steps to the Yes!!

                                                                                            5 Steps

Ok fellas, so you want to know a few things that can get you further in your relationship or into a relationship. That is today's blog, so enjoy!
1. Tell her things that you mean, not what you think she wants to hear. Many times women can tell when a man is jiving them. They are used to men running game. So just try being opening interested in her conversation and ask questions that show interest, instead of her asking you fifty questions. Stay off your phone and pay attention because you will be able to use some the info in the future. This will show her your sensitive/vulnerable side, which women typically desire. 
2. Use the info that you learned. Small things matter more than the big, at times. Yes the grand gestures are wonderful, but the small thoughtful ones also work. A single flower that she loves, porcelain doll, anything that she smiled about in the conversations on your dates. Women are kind of mushy, remember that. 
3. Be date original. Try to contour your dates to the person you are dating (email me for ideas). Go outside your box. If you continue to take your dates to the same places, you are bound to run into one of the old ones. Try a museum, the zoo, a bistro, or the theater. One of the sexist and most memorable things about about a date, is where it is and how it goes. Even if it doesn't work for the two of you, she won't forget that date. Remember to open doors and pay close attention to whether she reaches over in the car and opens the door for you. That shows a little about whether she is selfish ;) 
4. Do not assume. Don't assume that because this woman grew up in the deep South in a small town that she is close minded. Try to open her up to life. Just as you are trying to impress her, she is doing the same thing for you. Introduce her to things that you like, she may surprise you. Some men are interested in fishing or hunting, she may be a pro at fishing or always wanted to learn. I love to watch people play poker, but learning would be better. Videos games are a great example. She be rolling her eyes when you turn on the Xbox, but only because you tune her out when you start playing it. How about grabbing another controller and teaching her how to play. She doesn't have play every game, but she will feel included and won't nag the next you play because she sees how fun it can be. The mission is to collaborate two people, not give up what you like already. 
5. Touch!!!!!- Im not saying to grope her, but do touch her hand with a graze and hold it. Gently touch the small of her back but do not run your hand up her spine until you feel like the time has come. The spine, hands and neck are ultra erotic so you will need those spots hen it's time. Touching can be hypnotizing! You want to leave with something to think about. Don't be so quick to give it her all the time. The mystery makes it worth the wait. Those gentle touches will leave things in your hands!
Those are my 5 suggestions to get your "yes". Treat her like the lady she is. If the first or second date doesn't work out, there are many more all around you. Choose your best fit. 


{Tarah D}

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day Blog for the Guys

Everything I read for Valentine's day is always about the ladies, so I decided to give a shout out to the guys and a few tips! First let me say, thank you to all the good men in the world. Many times I hear the bad things that men do, but it is time for some recognition on their part. Thank you to the men, that are romantic outside of holidays, remember all the important days, take care of home, cook and clean, help to keep their woman stress free, and maintain their status as the KING of the household! I am thankful mine in every way! Now for the blog....
I'm sure the guys wonder why Valentine's day is so important to women. Its a holiday that was made up by the card companies and besides the V-day massacre should be enough to make you want to ignore this day. For most men, there is no such luck. The best thing to do is not complain and just grab some flowers, candy, and cook her dinner or make reservations. Most women are very easy to please with some effort put forth. If you do appreciative things throughout the year, some women do not require anything big for V-day. Its a love holiday, women are emotional creatures so naturally many want to celebrate it. In some cases it can be a "make or break" for your relationship. Guys, the best advice I can give you is to be the best man you can be all year. If you have no idea what to do for this day, here are a few quick tips. *Start her morning with a love letter. If you live together, place it at her bedside before she wakes. If you do not live together, send an email, not a text or hand deliver it with 1 single rose. * Have her lunch sent to her job. * Prepare dinner or make reservations- if you prepare dinner, make sure the setup is right. Rose pedals from the front door to the table and put the remaining pedals on the table. Place a bottle of chilled champagne, candles, and a small token gift on the table. Whatever meal you prepare make sure you properly decorate the plate. You can use a sauce to make a heart around the food on the plate. Try something different for the meal. Cooking is better than reservations because there are too many people out on that day. Its very personal when you are alone and its well thought out. You could also use the floor instead of the table for the picnic setup (super sexy) *Get a small bottle or jar and put small pieces of paper that state something that you will do, inside of it. These things could be " a back massage, foot rub, picnic, doing the dishes" anything along those lines. On this day you want to personalize what you do for her. The more thought you put into this, the better your "thank you" will be. And you know you want the thank you. If you need any ideas, email me!! You want your woman going back to work with a smile on her face. She will be able to say more then "he got me flowers at work" a lot of men do that. You want her co-workers to say "Dang, her man is smooth, all I got was flowers!"  {Tarah D}
Key Point for the ladies- Appreciate a good man if you have one and recognize a good one when he is coming your way. They like nice things too, V-day is not all about receiving gifts and it is not a one way day! Show him some love also, not because you expect something, but because you really care. 

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. 1/15/2011

This blog is especially dear to me. It is in remembrance of the great Dr Martin Luther King Jr. If you look around there are many things that we complain about. Our youth, the rap videos, the lyrics, the ebonics language created to increase ignorance and the constant miseducation of today. We look at where we have come from and how hard our ancestors, and civil rights leaders fought to make sure that we had a brighter future and better education. Some look around and only see disappointment, however, I see progress. Yes, it saddens me that there are those that do not understand the struggles, so they do not respect them. It hurts to see our young and older women disrespect themselves for validation. It hurts when young and old men turn their backs on their children, but find time to run the streets to be where they are not needed. These are all facts that are alive and prevalent today. Some spend so much time focusing on the wrong, they forget about the growth. On this day, those are not the things that deserve acknowledgement, so in no particular order...
It is about every ancestor that took the beating and wore the shackles, about Harriet Tubman, Sojourner Truth, Fredrick Douglass, W.E.B Dubois, Nat Turner, Paul Laurence Dunbar, Emmitt Till, Denise McNair, Carole Robertson, Cynthia Wesley, Addie Mae Collins (16th St. bombing), Franklin McCain, Joseph McNeil, Ezell Blair, Jr., David Richmond (Greensboro four), James Meredith (first black student to enroll in the Univ of Miss.), Thurgood Marshall, Rosa Parks, Malcolm X, Madam C.J Walker, Maya Angelou, Iyanla Vanvant, Oprah Winfrey, Spike Lee, Langston Hughes, Al Sharpton, Bill Cosby, Common, Dr Cornel West, Sinbad, Velma Scantleberry (first black woman transplant surgeon), Ruby Dee, Ossie Davis, Tyler Perry, Andre Harrell, Sean Combs, Mary J. Blige, Tavis Smiley, Dr. Michelle Callahan, Micheal Baisden, Dr. Benjamin Carson, every black doctor, lawyer, director, singer, dancer, writer, counselor, mechanic, actor, activist, every African American, and  PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA.
This list could go on and on from every month of every year because black America is not just rap music and saggy pants. Progress of this magnitude deserves acknowledgment. We are a force of power, knowledge, strength, endurance and unbelievable promise. When you come from a history that is as deep as ours, your blood runs power! We should be mindful of that power everyday and not just holidays and the month of February. On this day, take a moment to thank all of those that came before us and try a little bit harder than you did the day before.    Happy Birthday Dr. King!                                                                     {Tarah D.}

Dr. King Quotes (a few of the ones that I love, please enjoy)


*We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.


*All progress is precarious, and the solution of one problem brings us face to face with another problem.


*Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent.


*Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable... Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals.
* have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit together at the table of brotherhood.

*f we are to go forward, we must go back and rediscover those precious values - that all reality hinges on moral foundations and that all reality has spiritual control.

*Property is intended to serve life, and no matter how much we surround it with rights and respect, it has no personal being. It is part of the earth man walks on. It is not man.

*Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think.

*The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

*Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality.

Word of The Day 1/13/11

Efficacious [ef-i-key-shuhs]-
Capable of having the desired result or effect; effective as ameans, measure, remedy, etc.

Moments of Realization #7

Support

How often do you find yourself needing an extra push from your mate or the person that you are seriously dating? Do you find that sometimes you just wish that he/she would give you some assertive words of motivation? Does it bother you when you have been holding down the fort with no acknowledgement? Sometimes when the chips are down, people have a tendency to find someone to blame and it is usually not themselves. When a financial crisis strikes, more often than not, relationships become divided and fingers start pointing. When a crisis of any sort invades a relationship, it is merely a test, either you survive or you don’t. In this economy especially, many marriages have ended and relationships have ceased to exist. When you go through a struggle, remember that normally, no one person is suffering more than the other. Try to be the shoulder for one another. Try to find comfort in one another. Now, ask yourself how often you do that for them? Most men want their woman to rub their shoulders and let them know how appreciated they are. They like to hear how much you love them and are proud of them. Women like to hear how beautiful they are looking, or how great the house looks. How she is doing a wonderful job at work and at home. How he is an excellent father and still has time to make you happy. These things are important even if you have been together for 25 years. People are still people and it is nice to know that are appreciated by their loved one. Just remember that the next time you walk in the house give a simple compliment of support. Do not kick each other when you are down. Do not throw anything in the others face, because that adds fuel to the fire. As hard as it will seem, once you overcome that trial/test, your testimony will be great! If you are not married, your vows will be strong because you have overcome a great challenge together. If you are married, that bond will seal tighter than you can imagine. {Tarah D.}

*Key Point - Appreciate the one you have. None of us are perfect, we are all just trying…

Wisdom-My Master Plan

My master plan is in effect. My mind is strengthened, my tools are sharpened! I'm ready for battle to inflict wisdom on the world! My thoughts and words will be well thought out. My subconscious and conscious mind will remain intertwined to created a master mind of life, business, and intellectual stability. My goal is to become more perspicacious with each day. Take pride in what you put in your head and what you speak out of your mouth. Turn off the tv and open a book every once in awhile! Try your best to stay positive because only you control your attitude. Don't give anyone else that power over you!